OOC Etiquette

As Thorns is an OOC community as well as a role playing forum, it’s important to keep your interactions with others respectful and friendly. For more IC-focused guidelines, see Rules for Play.

We have a Discord server, so most OOC interactions take place there and not on the forum. Players talk about anything from their characters to cooking, gaming, and music, and post art and pictures of their pets. You don’t have to join it, but it’s very difficult to conduct any plotting at all just through the forum. The Discord is also where people let their partners know they’ve replied to a thread, through #tag-your-partner.

Playing Well with Others

We assume everybody comes to a site like Thorns with good intentions, a level head, and a willingness to be thoughtful and courteous to fellow players, staff, and the community. We understand that everybody has issues, and we want to be compassionate and forgiving. We always try to get along first, and we see moderation as a last resort.

However, it may be useful to outline a few behaviors that we find unacceptable, and a few rules of thumb for community involvement.

• Read more: Playing Well with Others

General Rules

• We aim to be progressive and accepting on Thorns. Racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ageist, classist, ableist and religiously/culturally intolerant statements are not acceptable. This includes weight/diet talk and jokes.

• Unwanted sexual remarks to another player, or in the public discord, are not acceptable. We are adamant that everyone feel safe here. We are all adults, and conversation topics sometimes do veer into NSFW territory; there is a channel specifically for NSFW topics.

• Be a positive influence. If someone is constantly complaining about their problems or insecurities, or about feeling ignored or left behind, that brings the community down. This is also why we have #vent-your-woes, but think about the positive energy you can bring to the community, too.

• Resolve your conflicts with other players privately. If a conversation is getting heated in the Discord and neither party is calming down or taking it to private DM, the offenders will be warned.

• Don’t “vague”, either. There is no reason to complain about another player on Thorns in the public server, even vaguely/not-naming-names — everyone assumes it’s about them! Find another outlet.

• Be sensitive and tactful with relative strangers. Try to avoid talking politics or inflammatory topics with people you aren’t sure agree with you. When someone tells you not to talk about something around them anymore, just don't do it. It doesn't matter how strong your feelings are, or if you think the other person is being silly. Respect your peers.

• On the flip side, be understanding and forgiving. Nobody is a mind-reader. You don't have to get along perfectly with everyone, but you do have to be nice. If someone said something hurtful and then apologized, try to let it go. If there’s still a problem, take concrete action. Thorns is no place for lingering resentment.

• Try to be a part of the conversation, not dominate it. If most of the messages on the screen are from you, or you’re typing multiple paragraphs that don’t directly relate to the conversation, you’re probably alienating others. Talk about others as well as yourself.

• Keep interactions with current threads that don't involve you respectful. You're welcome and encouraged to keep abreast of what's going on on the site, but insulting, jealous, self-deprecating, or otherwise trolling comments on others' threads are unacceptable. Be sure to get the involves players' permission before you insert your own characters into the situation, too.

• Don't post any information about another player that you do not have explicit permission to post. This goes for real-life names, work and other hobby information, location, etc. Just because someone has shared something with you in private doesn't mean it's yours to share in public. The more sensitive the matter, the more important this is: please keep it in mind.

Consequences of Violating Rules

At Thorns, we try to be thoughtful and forgiving of mistakes; everyone makes them, and usually, conflicts spring from misunderstandings. Nobody is permanently banned for one offense, and nobody will jump down your throat for having a bad day and saying something you regret.

However, we do pay attention to patterns of behavior.

If we start getting complaints from multiple sources, or if we notice a pattern of rule violation or poor player behavior, staff will have a chat with you and see if we can figure out what’s up. You’ll be warned, effectively, and we’ll try to work with you, so nothing’s left field. But if the behavior continues after that, or if you refuse to cooperate, you’ll be asked to step back and take a break from the server and the forum for a while.

In particularly egregious cases of trolling or abuse, staff may ban right away, but this is very rare.