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Main article: Vienda

The exterior isn’t exactly promising, but no one looking for a brothel is really interested in the décor. Other than maybe the bedspreads. The brick façade of The Laced Mutton does its best to block sunlight from the street below, towering taller than it is wide on three stories. The shoddy roof has a tendency to toss broken shingles down on the heads of pedestrians.

Gaggles of whores loiter in the windows and on two wrought iron balconies jutting shakily from the façade, hooting and flashing. In the evening, anyway. During the day they just chatter amongst themselves and smoke, as all girls do.

Inside, the place seems surprisingly opulent under the oil lamp and cigarette smell. ‘Seems’ being key. On closer inspection, the wooden floor is scuffed and creaking. The cushions on the fancy furniture are frayed and bleeding stuffing. The gold-painted moulding is chipped. The lush red wallpaper is peeling and speckled with water damage. And all those pretty painted girls look a bit like they want to get back to their card games. Branching off from the foyer is a ‘special’ room for ‘special’ customers – groups and gollies, that is.

But the rates are cheap (five tallies!) and the girls are clean (mostly!). That’s all that counts, after all.

Up the staircase there’s a narrow hall just rife with doors, each leading to a decent-smelling (pomade, perfume, a bit of salt) and decent-looking (clean-ish sheets, naughty pictures on the wall, more of that peely wall paper) room. The walls are eggshell thin and the sounds of other couples having their goes at it are easily heard.

The third floor is rarely seen by customers except on very busy nights, it being populated only by tiny rooms for the boarding girls, dusty closets, and the matron’s private quarters.

NPCs:

• Bunny – female human, age 40-something. Brothel matron.